Unlike every month end, where I only expecting pay day (kaching!)..this end of June mark my 6th month pregnancy, and I just feel that everything start to become real. That I am pregnant, and am going to enter another level in my life, motherhood.
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Am gonna rant a little about my personal family stories..*skip it if you are about to judge me*
I was in a week hazescaping back to Jakarta, it was a nice quality time with family and my fur-ever friend, Coco. Although as expected, I couldn't stay in a looong period of time with my mum at home coz we just somehow irritate each other. I love my mum, but I don't like how my mum thinks that she know best and everybody has to follow her way - and not to mentioned; overly sensitive. I know this syndrome been running in my mum's side family since I was young, and that is why I never liked my mum's family. I prefer to be with my dad's family where everybody treat each other in a positive way and we just have each other back. I feel like I have family with my Dad's side. Never to my mum's side.
I pity my dad the most on this case, he is a nice and humble man..and when my mum throwing tantrum on him..he could take it and give in to my mum, and it makes me angry. I hate bullies and I do think my mum bully my dad verbally..and I think I need to stand up for my dad, so I intend to say something hurtful back to my mum so she could feel how hurtful she is in treating and talking to other people. And when the argument is over with her, I realised..I am just behaving like my mum. Angry and bitchy. A kind of women I promise myself I will not be like. Ironically, I already am. T_T
I never regret born in my family, but I am hoping that my mum's family could be more positive in raising us - the next generation, by not spreading too much hatred and unnecessary hurtful comments just for the sake of saying it - but never mean it. Bull shit.
We can't choose in which family we are born at, but I do think it's matter and we need to choose wisely who we are getting married to and spending our lifetime with. I made a right choice (to be with my Mr.), and I do hope he feels the same to me, or else..jialat hor?
I have this little worry in me on how well I can be a mother. As much as my mum is a control freak, I think she (plus my grandma from dad's side) raised me well. Although I prefer my grams way instead of her :) but mum told me many things that I think is my survival kit in this world; like trust no one in the first place, count only on yourself and God, always walk the talk, don't be money oriented, give to the less, be faithful to your partner, and love your parents. Unconsciously, I live up to her words - and grateful for that.
Only that usually little girl grows with " I wanna be like my mum when i grow up " thing was never grow in me, coz I don't have that kind of mommy image to look up to ..and I am really scared that I just repeating my mum's footstep in raising my baby. T_T
*Pinkbuble is in dilemma*
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About pregnancy:
I hate water retention! and I seriously can't wait to get rid of this when I start my treatment with Mary Chia. Please get rid my almost a kg per treatment! pleaseeee!
And oh, today..I start exercising after a good 6 months "being careful" and not doing much sport activities. Just a simple 2 laps of swimming really boost up my mood and my appetite :P
So far, (thank God) no stretchmark yet, one little pimple on my left cheek, and supeeer dark armpit remains there. - SIGH! - My cellulite is happily grows on my thigh and this too, I can't wait to get the treatment from Mary Chia. I remember how Mary Chia Integra quartz help to break the stubborn fat cells under my skin, and I can't wait for the machine to do another magic in me.
So far, (thank God) no stretchmark yet, one little pimple on my left cheek, and supeeer dark armpit remains there. - SIGH! - My cellulite is happily grows on my thigh and this too, I can't wait to get the treatment from Mary Chia. I remember how Mary Chia Integra quartz help to break the stubborn fat cells under my skin, and I can't wait for the machine to do another magic in me.