it's an unexpected sweetness...

Yesterday, Arf asked me a quite wierd question..which was this

" why u choose me as ur Bf?"

Then..

... .... ....

i dunno wut to answer, i have few answers in my mind like

1. i want to marry you

2. i want u to be my forever partner

3. i just want u..

as simple as that..but if i ever said up that answer, he could be stunt and take it as pressure..as always..so i decided to chose anothe regular answer like

" i can be myself when i'm with you"

And..and..surprise..surprise..he said he din satisfied with my answer..and he said " if u asked me that question, my answer will be

* i want u to be my future partner*

or sumkind along that line..."

i'm too amazed to remember..

So i was like..is that person really him? b'coz all i know he kinda affraid of that kind of commitment if i may say..but, why suddenly he expecting that type of answer from me...

WoW..

Wow..

Wow..

So at nite, i just dropped him the truly feeling inside thru msn..

i said

" i chose u to be my bf, b'coz i want u to be my forever partner and father for my children"

and my tears just burst and i cudn't handle it..

but sumting here *chest* finally feel better..

luv the feeling and him

When i have time to sort myself out, like now...i often come up with questions..a lot of questions and tought..negative and positive..opportunity..SWOT..and tought again..

and i was wondering..if i were myfriend who just broke up with her bf after 3 bloody dating years and ended up with..nothing..i think i will be numb person with no emotion at all..and after the denial stage of being left by sum1 whom u trust the most..i will find sum1 handsome to go for one nite stand..hahahaha..well it just a random silly tot that came up accidentally..and..and..i was thinking if that shit can happen to my friend..it might happen to me too..well of course we date different guy, but seeing there's a chance of being dump.. i feel insecure..

for wut i know, i currently date a very good guy i ever met in my life..characters and attitude is there, but we can handle that in a smooth way..he's very forgiving and accept me for who i am.but i dunno why the feeling inside *here* (touching my chest) is unbearable and it make me cry sumtimes..without a reason why of course.

note: when i write this entry..i just finish with my period things..so this is not PMS taking control.

i hate to feel insecure and feel it alone..and there's a hesitation of sharing it with the party involved..b'coz..sumtimes..he just simply don't understand..and i dunno how to start..

-_-''

the choice is not mine..

Have you ever wonder, why the very first question for most Indonesian people to ask when it comes to the family is " wut is his/her parents do for living?" i dun found that question often asked by other people but Indonesian! and i try to sort the meaning behind it..and it's kinda broke my heart.

See this, girl from a rich family, good financial and education background, business are great run by her dad and mum, never work hard for living..becoz everything is there for her.., this lucky bitch has the biggest probability to be accepted by her partner family. ~nothing to worry about, she's all good~

and..

there's this girl..not even close to rich, average education background, not so pretty too, mum and dad working to fund the living..no business to pass on to the next generation, but she's working hard to gain a better living..and she really work hard for that.. but when it come to her partner family, tons of question are there and a lot of consideration to be made..and the possibility of rejection still there..sitting up high on the list..

Do you guys see how people judge somebody by his/her family background..rich is good and vice versa..then how about the person's personality?..how about the sincerity to be part of family?..how about her/his feeling inside? does that matters to those judges??

If the choice is mine, i will choose to be a girl from a family with good education background, moderately rich, pretty, get everything i want, and be accepted in my partner family without further questions..

but unfortunately the choice isn't mine..and i never regret to be a part of my family now, i never regret to have a parent like my mum and dad..they are the best and God has choose them for me.

So screw wut people says about ur family background and stuff!! for you, yes you! never ever let sumbody look down to you for how and wut ur family background is..becoz..who ever is that, is not worth ur tears!

belle.

Ma hair extension..

Lately i got a lot of comments about my new extension hair..and the funny part is they dunno that i did hair extension..so, they quite surprise about how my hair grow so fast to the length of my waist..i'll tell u the little secret..all u need to do is only take 1 1/2 hour of ur time and $$$..

xixixii...

i'll post the picture here, then explain to u the process of hair extension.

my hair before

They braided my hair and tie my braided hair with the extension hair

and
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.
.
.
.
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.

Voila! long hair is mine now..

and wut make me happy the most is, i can curl it, straightened it and have a messy long hair look with less effort..

like:


anything u like..

luv it

and oh, i forgot to tell u..the cost of this hair extension is $1.50 per strand and $1.00 for the clip on..

u can find it at far east plaza or anywhere else that provide u a good service with more reasonable price.

^_^