I am lucky!!

My mom called me, and scolded me for nothing..as always..

it means..

~ Thank's God..i still have mom..that care a lot for me


Smoke..smoke..and smoke..+ great food in the house

it means..

~ Ah, my dad is smoking and cooking a good food for me..Thanks for that pap!


My weight scale, 2 bar to the right..

it means..

~ Great..i ate a lot food!! thank You for the blessing..


My House furniture looks dull..

it means..

~ Uhmm..nice, i still have a house and the furniture..


I fight with Arief

it means..

~ My life is so colorful..i have boyfriend!! ^_^


My Auntie bugging me about my future plan

it means..

~ They love me so much, ever since i'm the only niece that they have and i'm always be the love of their heart. i feel loved..


My Grandpa keep asking my mom to bring me back to Indo,

it means..

~ He misses me..ahh..so sweet kong'


My Uncle keep asking me whether i have enough money or food

It means..

~ He worried about me..Thanks for the platinum card ^_^


Tzunsisters always distract my attention in the office

it means..

~ I'm no longer the only child..surprise..surprise..i have sisters..


I pay a lot for my phone bill

it means..

~ I have friend that contact me regularly..Awesome!


Ohh man, i never know i'm so lucky..i feel stupid becoz i never count my blessing..i feel so loved and i need the love..Thank's All.

And..


And..


I plan everything, and sometimes it turn the way i dun want it to be..

it means..

~ God plan something big for me..i just need to believe it.. and wait for His time.

Just go to ur own world insecure people!!

Belakangan ini, gw ketemu banyak banget orang-orang yang insecure sama dirinya sendiri..tapi, either dia ga nyadar ato dia ga mau sadar...ato sebenernya mereka sadar tapi ga mau terima kenyataan..dan akhirnya come out with unconsious thought.." ah daripada gw feel bad, mending gw bikin org laen feel bad juga about diri mereka " ato somekind of thought yang mikir " dengan gw bikin people feel bad about their life, i feel better"

Gw kesian ma mereka yg begitu..walopun gw yg sering jadi korbannya, contohnya gini:

percakapan gw dengan colleague gw, dia singaporean ( pantesan ya?? ) en ngomongin soal gaji..

X ( temen ): so el, is ur salary around $xxxx??

E ( elrica ): yeah, around that..but i think I'm underpaid.

X: oh really?? i tot for you Indonesian your salary is big enough already..

E: no..I'm underpaid around $xxx

X: but not much rite, and i think for you..your salary ok already!

yang ternyata gw baru tau kalo gaji dia same like me..and dia uda stay di company for 2 1/2 years dan ga naek gaji sama sekali...jadi dia ga puas gitu, jadinya buat keadaan seolah itu uda lebih cukup buat sum1 like " me"...dan ga cukup buat sum1 like " her "

" singaporean " ^_^ wajarlah..

Trus soal cewek di tempat fitness, yg kyknya gw juga uda banyak cerita ma orang2 gara2 gw kaget diperlakukan dan direndahin gara2 gw Indonesian ( again )..dan ( again ) sama singaporean..

dan yang ini, gara2 gw sadar..karena gw dance lebih bagus dari dia..dan dia ga bisa coupe up with my level ( ok lah..gw sombong krn gw blg gw lebih bagus..but dancers, u know who's the person in ur level, rite?? ) ~ lg bela diri..hihihi...

pokonya ini gara2 ada satu gerakan wave ( yg kyk ombak gitu ) dan dia ga bisa..hahaha..jd dia salain gw karena gw nge-wave banget dan karena gw dari indo yang katanya tsunami wave...-_-

~ apa hubungannya? ~

"Singaporean " wajarlah ya..'doh aku jd rasis.

Trus adalah di kantor cewek yang chubby gitu..err ga chubby deh...endut' malah..dia yg tambah gendut, dia bilang " el, are u gaining weight??" padahal gw drop 5 kg loh..ihihihihi..either dia buta ato trying her luck to make herself feel better!! hihihi... aneh'

trus ada juga yang hobi banget blg " lu pendek ya? " ato " ihh pendek padahal uda pake heels "
setiap ketemu seneng bener komen-in tinggi badan gw..padahal i'm totally comfortable with myself ( walo gw chubby dan cuma 160 cm ) i am totally a happy person, karena gw begini, i can wear heels as high as i want or i still can wear heels when i'm on my date with my 170 cm boyfriend without lookin' too tall or sumting.....trus gw mikir, kenapa ya? those people suka begitu...so wut kalo gw lebih pendek dari dia or dari semillion org laen di dunia ini..??
Ya mungkin juga dia ngmg itu for fun ato senyeplos-nya dia..tapi agak aneh aja lah ya..ga ada orang laen yg bisa di " pendek" in lagi kah selaen gw?

Ato gw-nya yg looks ok-ok aja digituin..padahal kan daku jg ada feeling loh!

Rese lah!

Sucks friday!!

Today is sucks!!

Nothing else to say..it was sucks..

It was ok at the beginning but it ended super sucks!

humiliated and being laughed ALL the time!!

Anything worst than that???

YES! two closest and dearest person did that to me..

But. I'm still thank God it's Friday!

xoxo

emotional feeling i have inside

It just funny..how u can turn sad..extremely sad in just a blink of eyes?

i cried so bad just now..and feel better..

It's been a week since i came back from my Jakarta's trip..

There was a sad moment for me there..when i visited my grandparents from my dad's side..my grandma, she's in coma if i can say..but she stays at home..and my grandpa, he's become very unstable and temperamental..and he keep shouting..and shouting! there was once he shouted " i don't want it anymore..( well he speaks hokkian ).. " then one of my aunt ask him " wut about pa? " then he replied " i dun wanna live anymore..i wanna die.." then there's a silent moment between me, my aunt and my mum..until my aunt said " dun anyhow say that things pa..." and i just realise that "that" sentences killing me...for a week i've been in a very bad mood and sad..without knowing ( or denying ) this feeling..

The feeling that afraid of losing somebody, like my grandpa and grandma..that raised me very well..but i just dunno how to behave as a good grand daughter, i always know that i am the love of their life..so i always tot that they will understand if i didn't come to see them becoz i'm busy with my personal things..i always think that they will know and accept that i'm no longer their baby girl and let me grow up..

BUT I WAS WRONG!!!!

HOW I WISH I CUD TURN BACK THE TIME AND LET THEM TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!

I REGRET THAT I NEVER SPENT MORE TIME WHEN THEY ARE STILL ABLE TO KNOW THINGS WELL..and i really want to tell them that i love them so much for being the BEST GRANDPARENTS in the world.

I'm crying now, but it won't help..regret always come later..

T_T

* hate to realise that i can't make them happy and proud..

~ Things that i never do ~

- Yelling at my employee ( if i ever have one )

- Telling them that they are stupid, idiot or donkey

- Shout at them

- Under appreciate them

- Thinks that money can buy everything

- Be sum1 stingy

- Out of control and humiliate myself..unconciously

~ i'm serious..i will never do this..i mean never ever! ~

My jakarta' s trip

I am EXTREMELY happy!!

Happy..Happy..Happy..Happy..Happy...

* tears of Joy!! T_T

Rina's wedding went well ( will update the details when i get the pic ) .. and super memorable!!

Thank you for the time and moment rin!!!

I keep laughing from moment to moment and i never know meeting friends and family can bring out my laughter..and..

quoted from will's sms " wut make u hinders ur laugh sist? " ( what he meant is when i'm in sg )
then i start to think about it..i actually found few points..some point like:

1. I can express the real me when i'm with my friends..which reminds me i dun really have a lot of friends here!!

2. I almost forget how it feel to be surrounded by people who accept you for the way you are

3. For the last one year i actually feel numb from the things so called " warm friendship " and i sadly realise it..

4. Feeling's do change

5. Fakeness killing me..and myself

6. Simple hug can really make u strong.

There are actually more..but..i dun think i'm ready to write about it!